a little bit about me (and how i got here)

It only feels fitting to kick off this blog with a little bit about me and how I got here :)

So - hi! I’m Hailee. I was born and raised in a small Colorado mountain town, but currently call Southern California home.

I’ve spent most of my early twenties working in advertising, eventually making my way into sales - a very bittersweet experience (which we can get into this another time lol).

Growing up, I had a million hobbies - sports, dance, drawing, hiking, camping, skiing, writing, photography, a crazy social life - I wanted to have a little hand in everything. But as I got older, that curiosity slowly turned into pressure, and by the time I reached high school I realized there simply weren’t enough hours in the day to be the “everything” girl I wanted to be.

Still, I carried that energy into college and well into my twenties - chasing more, doing more, filling every moment. I learned how to be productive, driven, and capable - and how to do it very well. Slowing down didn’t really feel like an option.

All the while, my health was screaming at me in the background.

I grew up chronically unwell - rashes and hives covering my body for weeks at a time, getting very sick very easily, intense stomach pain where my organs felt like they were on fire, deep fatigue, migraines, an overall lack of energy… the list is long. My immune system was weak, and my quality of life often felt limited. My days were confusing and heavy - missing birthday parties and dance practices, unexplained injuries, avoiding pictures - doing my best to stay out of sight, yet at the same time forcing myself to show up in the everyday world.

My parents did everything they could to find answers - allergists, immunologists, rheumatologists, dermatologists, naturopaths, holistic healers, energy workers, acupuncturists, microscopic blood specialists, a Chinese medicine man & his basement - truly, if it existed, we tried it.

We were desperately searching for the missing answer, and more often than not, we left feeling so defeated - and honestly, a little crazy.

As I got older, the flare-ups have become more intense, some of the most recent ones leaving me in bed literally all day. Everything and anything could set me over the edge at any moment - and trying to navigate it all in the midst of a high energy job, social life, family, appointments, supplements, home cooked - histamine free meals, hobbies…. literally made me feel like I was losing my mind.

It took a very rude awaking to realize that over this past year, there were more days spent suffering in pain than not - wishing my body didn’t feel like it was on fire, wishing it wasn’t failing me, praying helplessly for a miracle.

My nerves were numb from itching my skin so hard.
My skin felt like braille.
I lost my eyelashes :(
My nails became so thin they completely broke.

I couldn’t shower, sleep, eat, get dressed, cry, laugh. I was devastated - and hopelessly searching for relief.

I simply could not keep living my life this way.

Gosh - these make me so sad :( Not in a life sucks type of way, but in a wow this is really suffering.

Something had to change - not just in my health, but in how I lived.

During this season, I started taking my life more seriously - in every sense of the word.

I moved out of an old, moldy apartment and got rid of almost everything I owned.
I took months off work to create space to heal.
I let myself sleep as much as my body possibly could.
I filled my new home with organic, non-toxic options wherever I could, just to take some of the burden off my system.

I started slowing down my thoughts and my pace - saying “slow is safe” allll day, every day.
I prioritized meditation and gentle movement.
I started speaking kindly to my body and my cells.
I tried to be gentler with myself.

None of it was perfect.
And it definitely hasn’t been instant.

But for the first time, I feel like I’m working with my body instead of against it.

It feels a little silly to be writing this knowing I still have a longggg way to go before my body feels truly stable. But I’ve learned a lot through these years, and I would love to start sharing it.

I know how isolating it can feel to live in a body that doesn’t cooperate the way we think it should - but I also believe it’s one of God’s greatest gifts to some. And if only little Hailee had known that, I wonder how many years of pain I could have turned into faith and love.

So that brings us here - to my little space on the internet :) I’ve found many subtle things that have truly made a difference in my life, and I hope to plant even the smallest seed in yours!!

Whether you’re healthy or sick, young or old, drained or joyful, scared or hopeful - I hope you can find a little space here to feel a bit more seen and a lot less crazy.

Thank you so much for being here - I am so excited!!

<3